Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Randomize
