we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
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