I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
