if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
