at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
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