went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize