Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
Randomize
