dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
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