He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
