He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
