you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
I need to align my fucking chakras
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
