How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
I would fuck him just for his dog
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
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