I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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