If that was your dad, he is hot
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize
