my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
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