Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
Randomize
