I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
Randomize
