so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Randomize
