Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Randomize