ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
