I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
Randomize
