she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
Randomize