GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Randomize
