I think I died a long time ago.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
