That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
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