She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
All the doctor said was why
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
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