Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
