im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
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