dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Randomize
