I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Randomize