i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
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