so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
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