my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
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