dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
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