don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
