Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
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