I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
Randomize
