I would go down on you faster than GM stock
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Randomize
