My room smells like vodka and shame
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize
