I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
Randomize
