16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
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