So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
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