last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
Randomize
