That's when you crack a 10am beer
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
My penis needs a shock collar
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
I am never drinking with the goths again.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Randomize
