Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
Randomize
