I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Randomize
