Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
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