is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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