Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Randomize
