What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize
