fuck your aforementioned shoe
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
Randomize
