woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
Randomize