They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Randomize
