I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
I think pants incapable of making pants work
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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