I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
I take back everything I said about communal showers
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
Randomize
