If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
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