Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
Randomize
