question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
Randomize
