WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
Randomize
