you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
