Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
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