I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
Randomize
